Dormancy

The past few weeks, studying the state of dormancy found on the ground of remembrance.

Just like nature, there are two stages:
1) quiescence - slows in response to environmental cues
2) rest - controlled from within

"A seedling in the resting stage will not grow, no matter how favorable the environment. It emerges from dormancy only in the fullness of time, under the most favorable conditions. "

Scripting the Action

It would be nice to write, "He got it!"
Can't write those words (even though I just did). I don't know if he received the book. I wanted the post after "RESURGAM Departs for France" to be news about the book landing in France and getting delivered. I have faith that somehow the book will make it to him.

RESURGAM Departs for France

The book began its journey to France today. If all goes well, it should arrive in Verdun in about 8-10 days.

This action - sending the book to the man who inspired "Marc" - was something I never considered until I found his old business card. It happened because I sorted through a box of information that no longer serves a purpose today. Had I not sorted through old completed projects, the business card would have remained buried in the box.

Instead, RESURGAM departed today to make its way into the hands of a Frenchman who has no idea of the significant role he played in my personal story.

The Mystery

"Everything in human affairs is interconnected.
Whatever we do for others now will someday be returned." *

This is the mystery of RESURGAM (Latin - I will rise again)
and the continuing story of war & peace, death & life, and betrayal & love. What will be returned?

"If we live fully in the present moment,
the mysteries of yesterday will gradually be unraveled for us."**

* p. 88 Fruits and Gifts of the Spirit by Thomas Keating
**p. 89 Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss

The Guide on the Left Bank

"Marc" was more than a taxi driver transporting me to Cote 304, he was a guide who opened doors and directed my attention to details and places existing in the overwhelming legacy of loss.

I always wondered what he thought when the fog appeared in the wood line and rolled toward us while we stood near the parking lot at Cote 304. He broke the silence with a suggestion to leave (exactly what I was thinking) but I never asked him what he saw at Cote 304.

A Forgotten Connection

In a stack of old business cards that I was tossing out, I found the business card the taxi driver gave me in Verdun. What a surprise.
In the book, his name is Marc. His real name is something entirely different. He's the one who drove me into the courtyard of the Center for Peace and suggested I visit it the next day.
I'm sending him a book!

Three C's Arrive

Along with Friday's snow (that canceled my travel plans) arrived a letter. The expression on my face as I read the letter and enclosures was priceless - surprise, wonder and awe. Seriously, who orchestrates this type of timing?!

I could imagine a particular group (that includes John, Gary, Frank, Phil, and Tim) laughing at my surprise. A new cast of characters arrived. Although some weren't new characters at all, their names revealed connections, and the connections offered new clues.

Nothing else to report since I don't want to jump to any conclusions just yet.

Home in Winter

Sophy begins creating.
These words from Albert Camus best sum it up:
"In the depth of winter,
I finally learned within me
there lay an invincible summer."

Home to Mourn

When Sophy found the presence of absence, she was... pissed. Jimmy took her home to mourn, but Sophy didn't want anything to do with that. She wanted to fill her moments with life, not face darkness, emptiness, loss and death. Returning from her war, Sophy most wanted to step into the bright currency of life, yet found herself in the darkness of home. Without Jimmy's guidance, she would have taken the fugitive run away from mourning. Instead she stayed there. The dark night would transform...

***

We mourn the death of individuals, but what about the little losses and 'small' deaths in our own life and those around us? ' The small losses get quickly swept away, tossed into the trash, shredded, or deleted. When the wave of grief and anger (or some negative emotion) shows up unannounced at the wrong time, we act surprised. Where did that come from?

We want to feel normal, not feel bad. We stay distracted - turning the presence of absence into the absence of presence. And so, all the little losses and little deaths accumulate into something much bigger. The Presence of Our Absence always returns.

The Presence of Absence

"The house has been empty, shuttered, braced against intrusion. You have the key. Inside all is dim, hushed. You take a few steps forward, drop the bags, and breathe in the slumber of your rooms. The dust has settled, but somehow the air is dense with stillness. Absence has a presence. You feel it and smell it and hear it; you sense it, the way an animal senses, fleetingly, in those few moments through the door.
The rooms ... they're not as you remember them. Absence warps, distorts. ,Everything seems slightly aslant somehow. Bigger. Smaller.
Perhaps you're unable to stand the silence. Or perhaps you can no longer resist the embrace of rooms poised to take you in. You're moved to break the spell. You breathe the heavy silence one last moment and you reach for a switch. Turn on the lights. ..."

Found Dominque Browning's words this weekend while flipping through a pile of saved magazines. What timing. What truths Dominique writes. The cover's header: Home Again.

SOURCE: House & Garden, Sept 1996, p. 29
"Welcome - Turn on the Lights" by Dominique Browning

Home

So tempted to add a few images, but it's best to keep it simple.
Home Again.

The Preview Copy - Going, Going, Almost Gone!

RESURGAM
Standing on the Ground of Remembrance

by Jean A. Niedert

Remember them echoes through every generation, and against the standing stones of history. The two words transform into a presence that enters Sophy’s awareness, directs her attention to the darkness, and whispers, “Go there.”

Their existence glimmers in the dark realm of the unknown. It pulses with life and rests with death. The light of their story is a mystery, which leads to the ground of war. The power of remembrance illuminates their truth. They lived. They loved. They have a story to tell.

Resurgam (Latin) - I shall rise again.

***
There aren't many preview copies left to sell so I'm removing the book's promotion from the top of ground of remembrance. The preview copy isn't the final call for the book. I believe it will remain true to its title. RESURGAM.

Go there

There are 47 preview books of RESURGAM left to sell.
The rough draft to story 2 is complete.
Sophy is on new ground.
It's time to refine the focus, which is exploring the ground of remembrance. I arrived at this place - the ground of remembrance - because I responded to the subtlest of calls, "Remember them." The first 'call for remembrance' arrived in the form of a white business envelope standing against a black panel, the second call was a chance sighting seen during a short feature on local TV show, and the third was a letter published in a book. All three 'calls for remembrance' were created by the same man: Phil Woodall. He was the first guide who encouraged this writer to "go there." War was not somewhere I wanted to go, but I wanted to learn about Alpha Company so I began the journey.

The copy on the book's back cover, "The two words transform into a presence that enters Sophy's awareness, directs her attention to the darkness, and whispers "Go there."
When I self-published the preview copy of RESURGAM I thought I had wrapped up the story. The writer had gone there. The characters had gone there. None ran away. RESURGAM was complete. I was done. I avoided having to write Sophy out of home because I (the writer) decided she would land in Washington DC.

As I distributed the batch of "preview copies," I began receiving the next round of clues. I met new teachers and guides. When synchronicity unfolded with ease, I knew an opportunity arrived. I learned I had to return to "Home."* I (the writer) had left Sophy standing there. I pretended not to see this, tried to forget it, thought my original idea of placing Sophy into DC would work.

24 years ago on January 28, I turned away from a sight I didn't want to see. It didn't matter. Turning away doesn't make reality go away. Today someone reminded me of the book's foreword: Resurgam is the promise that out of ashes grows new life. It is the mysterious transformation that delivers love and new life when one remembers and responds. A transformation can take a long, long time.

*"Home" is a chapter in RESURGAM.

Crack in the Sidewalk

The tangle of roots above the ground had pushed against cement. The tree had grown beyond the boundaries created by the sidewalk.

The Beauty of Imperfection

Those words were spoken by my dear friend, Bobby. I heard them the same day we learned everyone in the corporate offices would lose their jobs. The Sales Promotion Dept. left for a long lunch and landed at the Art Director's house. Bobby and I were sitting on the front porch swing. I pointed out a crack in the sidewalk and a few more imperfect details that I can't remember.
Bobby's reply. "Jean, that's the beauty of imperfection."
That was the most foreign idea I had heard. Beauty in imperfection? I lived in a world always striving for perfection. In that one moment, I visited the possibility. Beauty released from the limits of perfection.

It was 1990. I was exchanging letters with Phil, learning about his war and Alpha Company. I was losing my job. That day I was introduced to the beauty of imperfection. The boundaries were crumbling...

I See Beauty

"Today I see beauty everywhere I go, in every face I see, in every single soul, and sometimes even in myself." -Kevyn Aucoin

Carried Home

In the Jardin des Tuileries, I soaked in the beauty
and carried beauty home. Remembered the details today,
which I had forgotten for so many years.

The Luxury of Time (in Paris)

Found this photo a few weeks ago. After trooping through the foggy battlefields and chilly underground forts in Verdun, I returned to where I began in France: Paris. I spent most of the morning in Jardin des Tuileries. The time here is one of the purest luxuries I have ever given myself. Enjoying the beauty and life in the Tuileries. No agenda. No worries. No concern that I was missing something over there. I was here in Paris. What I gained here, I carried home.

Eyes to See

This is my favorite "discovery" photo from 2009. I was intent on capturing what I thought was a WWI ID disk since I wrote about one in the chapter on Illumination Rounds in the new story. I wasn't aware that I captured the unknown WWI soldier until I downloaded the images. Since October the eyes of this soldier keep staring back at me, the writer. The glare of the glass doesn't diminish the presence.

There were photographs of two soldiers in the display case. I spent a lot of time trying to capture the other soldier without much success. Posting the photo here to show the comparison.


The morning before I visited the museum and took the photos, I worked on the new story. Sophy is learning to see - which means the writer is learning too. This was my lesson. I didn't see the photograph when I was at the museum.

Reader Support

I want to thank the readers and friends who support RESURGAM and post comments on their facebook pages! The book/story is gaining awareness due to reader support on facebook.
Just want to note once more - the first edition is a preview copy and a short run. It's not available in bookstores or Amazon. If you're interested in buying a book ($20 includes shipping), please contact me.

Reader comment/support from facebook:
All book lovers will probably agree that there are times when a very special book falls into their lives and they are impelled to do a little proclaiming about it. I want everyone I care about to read Resurgam: Standing on the Ground of Remembrance by Jean A Niedert. It came to me as gift at the beginning of 2009. It is the book that stirred me most deeply last year. Resurgam is Latin for “I shall rise again.” As the author writes in her forward, “Resurgam is a promise that out of the ashes grows new life. It is the mysterious transformation that delivers love and new life when one remembers and responds.”

Learning that the traveling replica of the Washington DC Vietnam Veterans Memorial was on exhibit nearby Jean decided to visit one day. Having read her story I believe that what happened to her that day at the Memorial borders on a mystical experience and a vocation call. As she gazes upon the countless names, all unknown to her, she hears a voice welling up in her depths, “Remember them..” The poignant story of how she remembers them actually becomes her pilgrimage. It is a pilgrimage on which she is still traveling for her characters have now become such a part of her life she is still listening to them…do visit her facebook page.

One Year Ago

One year ago, I finally received the advance copy of my book. It was my moment to experience completion of a life work and a commitment fulfilled. I did it - start to finish. My only regret was Phil was not there to see it.

Now the rough draft to the second story is done. It's nothing that I expected it to be. Last year at this time, I didn't even imagine I'd write about Sophy facing the emptiness of home, but that's what the second story is all about. She's able to move again. I didn't imagine I'd return to write more about the ground of remembrance, but that's what happened and what I'll be doing now.

I tried to let the story go in early 2009, but the story kept gently tapping, "Pay attention. Write this down." This task (for whatever reason) - exploring the ground of remembrance - is part of my purpose. Step by step. It's full of surprises and never boring. My job here is to better communicate the surprises and the discoveries.

Life certainly becomes an adventure when you step outside your familiar life... (Be sure to prepare.)